As I say in my About page, I’m not any kind of professional when it comes to parenting. There’s no real way to measure this, but I’m not even sure if I’m even what’s considered a “good” dad. All I know is that I really love my son and I have a lot of fun being a dad, and I’m pretty sure my son loves me a ton and is having fun, too.

So, I don’t intend to make this blog an advice column or anything. With that said, I have some experiences, techniques, tips, insights, etc. that have worked for me that I’ll occasionally share. There is no official manual to parenting, and there is no right or wrong way to do it. Well, I can think of some really WRONG ways to do it, but my point is there are thousands of different ways to raise a kid and only the parents can decide for themselves what’s best for them and best for their child.

As an almost universally recognized “Fun Dad”, I really have to keep this in mind. The kids at my son’s first preschool nicknamed me Uncle Fun Dad because I always played with them and was like a member of everyone’s family. But the fact is that I’m not related to any of them and have no real right to act like I am. Many things that I think are fun and appropriate for my son might not be viewed that way by another parent. And just because I may disagree with someone’s parenting style doesn’t make me any better or more “right” than they are.

For example, when I take my son to the park, I really go there to PLAY with him. I probably have as much fun and get as much exercise as he does. I’m usually one of the few dads that ever shows up, and I’m almost always the only parent who is actually getting up and playing the same games as my son. I chase him, role play with him, wrestle with him, act like a monster, etc. Often, other kids see what’s happening and they want to join in. As a guy who loves kids, I personally have no problem obliging and playing with them, too.

Well, one time I learned the hard way that just because the other kid is laughing and having a blast doesn’t mean that the other parent is cool with it. For one, even if it’s meant in the happiest, most innocuous way, a lot of parents aren’t cool with you touching their kid. Like, at all. Also, if a parent sees their child having fun with someone else while they don’t have the ability, energy, desire, etc. to do so right then, that can be a bit of a blow to the ego.

So, one time I was playing at the park with my son and a gaggle of kids came over and joined in. Later I was speaking to my friend, who is a nanny for one of the kids at the park, and another female friend. As we were chatting, another woman who I did not know came up to me and said something to the degree of, “Excuse me, can I please speak to you for a second?” She then politely, but firmly, told me that it was not cool with her that I was playing with her child, and I should be more aware that I might offend other parents by doing so.

As soon as she walked away, my friends basically went off. The couldn’t believe the woman had the gall to lecture me when I was making her child so happy. At first, I internally got very defensive, too. I wanted to say to her, “Well, maybe if you were capable of making your child laugh you wouldn’t be so upset!”, or, “Maybe if you put your cell phone down for 2 seconds and got up and played with your kid he wouldn’t be seeking fun elsewhere!”, or “Why didn’t you tell me this while I was playing with your child?” But then I had to keep MY ego in check and say to myself, “You know what, she’s right.”

I tried to put myself in her position, and if some random guy was playing with my kid without my permission, even if he was having the time of his life, I probably would not be cool with it. There are tons of reasons I visualized that it might not have been cool with her: she could have thought I was a creepy rapist who gets his kicks touching kids. She could just be in fear that my more “aggressive” style of play might put her child in physical danger. She could be jealous. She could just simply be trying to teach her child to be more calm in public or not to talk to strangers without asking her first. On and on. Whatever the reason, it is her kid, and she had a right to say something. And I had no right to pass judgement on her, because there is no right or wrong way to parent.

The lesson I learned: don’t let being a fun dad get in the way of good common sense. And also, use all that extra energy and time you have and direct it towards your OWN child. I love pretty much all kids and I love to see them happy, but I’m better off using that energy towards my OWN kid. If you have other kids that want to play with you and you are at all worried it might offend their parent, ASK THEM FIRST. It’s only polite and respectful.

With all that said, will you please put down your cell phone when you’re at the park and PLAY WITH YOUR KID??!! 😉