I’m a bit different. I get that. I get sensitive, and I can’t always hide it. I express myself, and not always in the smoothest of ways. I can be a spazz, even when not in the presence of my son. I’m not Fonzie. I’m not one of those quiet, brooding guys who stands stoically off to the side that makes you go, “I wonder what he’s thinking?” I have a propensity to do things outside of the realm of what might be considered “cool”.

I get that. While I get along with pretty much everyone, I do a lot of things that most guys wouldn’t do because it would jeopardize their Coolness Quotient. But if I could give a bit of advice it would be this: don’t be a Cool Guy at the expense of your child.

Being the father of a young child basically grants you free reign to act like an idiot in pretty much any situation, and I take full advantage of that. I’ll go into more depth about that later. But in this post I specifically wanted to address showing affection toward your child, both in private and in public.

To me, there is nothing “cooler” than a dad who is not afraid to express affection toward his son or daughter. I wish I saw it more often, but I guess for some guys it goes counter to The Rules of Being a Cool Guy. With the exception of a fist bump or forearm bash or some other form of secret handshake in the gym I always seem to get wrong, it’s generally not the norm for guys to be silly or hug or kiss in public, towards anyone really. The less outward emotion you can express, the cooler you are. But, when it comes to your child, in the least politically correct way I can put it, I say this: Dude, that’s b*llshit. Put all that ego aside and LOVE your kid. Don’t be afraid to show it. No one is going to fault you for being affectionate towards your child, and in fact it is one of the COOLEST things you can do.

I know, it’s not manly to appear “soft” in front of your kid, especially if you have a boy. I run into a lot of guys who seem to feel it’s necessary “toughen their son up” and “teach him how to be a man”. They also seem to really worry a lot about what other people think. That’s understandable, but in my opinion a real man knows how to love, and the only person you should be worried about impressing is your child. While your spouse might be able to read between the lines and know you love them even if you don’t display it outwardly, your kid cannot.

If your kid wants a hug or kiss or to climb on you or be silly with you in public, for the love of god, participate! It just guts me when I see a dad give his kid the cold shoulder because it might tarnish his image. The coolest thing you can be, in the eyes of your child, is a father that’s not afraid to show he loves you. And I doubt any of your Bro Bros will think any less of you if they saw you doing this. If they do, they just don’t get it yet. Tell them to check back in with you in 5 years when they have their own kid and ask if you can be friends again.

And keep in mind, there is only a short window of time before it becomes very uncool for them to show affection towards you. Before you know it, you’ll have a 13-year-old boy who wears eyeliner and never talks to you because it’s societally uncool to do so. I remember being that age and having other kids say, “Dude, you hang out with your dad??” And of course, due to peer pressure, I would be like, “Uh, no, my dad SUCKS! He’s the biggest dork in the world!!”, even though I thought my dad was the raddest guy on the planet.

So, take advantage of this time. You can still be a Cool Guy and give your child a hug or kiss, or simply tell them you love them out loud on a regular basis. You’re not just living for yourself anymore, and the most important person to impress in this world is your child, not the other Cool Guys at the gym. So, by all means, feel free to show them you love unabashedly.