The best piece of advice I ever got is extremely simple, yet at times extremely hard to follow: never wish for that “next stage”.  When talking with other dads, I constantly hear things like, “I just can’t wait until she walks.”, or, “I just can’t wait until he can throw a ball with me.”  Believe me, your children will get there sooner than you think, and suddenly you’ll be thinking, “Where did all that time go??” I was so fortunate to get this bit of advice before my son was born, and I’ve tried to keep it in mind at all times, particularly when I get tired or frustrated.

This is different for every dad, and will be harder at some stages for some than others.  It’s strange to think that I look back fondly now on getting up at 3am, just trying ANYTHING to get that little bugger to sleep.  I can’t believe I smile to myself now thinking about all the times I wiped poop out of that kid’s butt and how many times he barfed on my shoulder.  I can’t believe it makes me happy to think how I held that little alien’s head up for the first 6 weeks and handled him like he was made of nitroglycerin because he was so fragile.  BUT I DID THAT!!  I kept that little baby as happy and healthy as possible, and I can look back on that with pride now because I took the time and was conscious enough to savor every moment.  If I had just rolled my eyes through the whole process and dealt with it like it was a chore I doubt I could look back on it now with such joy.

As I said, certain stages will be more difficult for some to “savor” than others.  I sort of chuckle at dads that say, “I can’t wait for my child to be able to crawl/walk.” Believe me, when they are capable of that, you’ll be having mini panic attacks all the time when you go for a refill on your coffee and you suddenly can’t find your child.  The times when my son laid there like a blob and pooped and barfed and drooled all over himself were the EASY times, for me at least.  Now I’m at a stage (age 5) where my son is smarter, stronger, more agile, more articulate, YET he still doesn’t have a conscience.  So, when I make dinner for this kid whom I taken care of lovingly for 5 years and ask him to hand me dish so I can wash it FOR HIM and he says, “No dad, you do it.”, it is very difficult to check yourself and not say something like, “You little effer!  Do you know all that I’ve done for you??!!”  But he’s not a devious villain or something; his brain is still gathering information for when that conscience kicks in and knows how to process it (more on that later).

But the point is, even though this is a tough stage for me, I’m trying to absorb and remember every part of it.  Hopefully I will look back on it fondly and laugh about it with my wife: “Remember all times our son used to test the boundaries and play mind games with us??  Oh boy, that was awesome!”  Probably not, but it’s still part of the overall process and something to be proud of.  So, remember, try to step back and take in everything that’s happening.  It will make the whole process that much more rewarding and the feeling of accomplishment that much greater.  It’s not easy, but it sure is worth it.  😉